We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
