I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there was a trapeze. enough said
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you never un-have a 4some
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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