I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
