awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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