If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
