I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
