Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
