im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
