They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
