why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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