You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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