Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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