Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
