New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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