I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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