went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
