as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
