perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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