I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
