HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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