when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
