As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
