Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
two words...techno handjob
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
