Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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