She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
