Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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