Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
