We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
