we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
whose parrot is this?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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