I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
