he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
