i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
