dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
