i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
