i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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