We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
