I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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