My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
