By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
