Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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