I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
