Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
