First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
