Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
