I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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