im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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