hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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