i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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