theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
