Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
