i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you had me at cake vodka
Found the puke drawer
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
