Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Your mouth is God's brothel.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
